Because you can't contain me.

Because you can't contain me.

I am too grand for your soul. And if you want to suck me in, you'll fall apart into pieces because I am stronger than you.
Nothing you will do will hurt me anymore. Nothing.
And there is Someone who has me, control me, live in me, and protected me.

Nothing you said will put me down. Nothing that you will say will make a difference in what I do and what I don't do with my life. It's my life, and it's not even belong to me anymore. Will you survive competing with your creator? I think not.

You've destroyed me, indeed. But someone had lift me up to the sky.
I was never yours. I have never loved you like that. And the love I have is a love of a sister, if you can take me as a sister!

Am I still bitter? Sometimes, who wouldn't? After all I am a human being.
But seeing you hurting other people in front of my eyes just make me want to puke. And I am sorry that it had brought all the pain back to the surface.

This, all of this, was just like a wind that blow my branches but my roots grasped the earth tightly, and my stem is as strong as an ark.

I am sorry for you. I am sorry for your life that revolves around lies.
I hope and pray that God will make you realize that you're not doing a favor to all of eve's daughters. And part of me want to not forgive you for that.

May be love has a limit. Or may be love needs to act a different way.

I am sorry for you, but I don't want to be in the middle of this. This part of my life had turned to ashes.

Nothing that you will do will hurt me anymore. No more.


The title is my own. I've written many of these, letters I've written but never sent. Just a reminder for myself, I wrote this after the meeting with SK on the Saturday in the beginning of summer 2007. I regret that I didn't offer her a prayer, when that's what she needs. She wasn't seeing the fact, she's clouded with what she called love, but not love, I think. You can't let your life to be controlled by other human beings, cause other human beings, just like us, can't be trusted. Only one person, worth building our life around, One who will never disappoints us, One who will always love us, One who will always faithful to us. One who had laid down his life for our transgressions.

SK said she's always mad at God. I didn't ask why. She said because she had lots of unanswered prayers (may be because she was asking a wrong question? SK was in denial, and I had been there, I told her I knew that, I've been there too. But I think she needs more than a courage to get out. She needs God. Jesus.