What I believe is not what I say, what I believe is what I do

...love keeps no record of wrongs. I Corinthians 13:5.

Serious lies in our heads can mess up our heads and our hearts. There is something about temper in my family that runs through our blood, at least, that's what I believe until yesterday, that temper is genetic. My dad's family has a temper problem, which never gets physical, but really gets in my head in terms of this. I was working with teenagers yesterday, with SOS, and of course with teenagers, they are just those who needs more love than any others, especially when it came to keeping the paint out of the carpet. And I think I've lost it, only inside my heart and didn't get spilled out over the crowd, but I am terribly sorry for it, and I've asked God to help me to not to burst in emotion when these kinds of things happened.

I was driving and praying and my thought was in a pause and another thought slipped through and said, "Never believe in lies that anyone else told you about yourself." I heard this before in the radio about callers who told their dad's best advice on father's day. And that thought was just my Father's best advice yesterday.

I can change when I asked God to lead the way. I can manage the anger that happens inside my head and my heart. Yesterday's experience was just my experience to learn more how to deal with youth and teenagers with many kinds of behaviors and attitude and learn to be more patient and loving with them. When the bible says..love keeps no records of wrongs..I just have to suck it in my brain and my heart, and I should be able to let go of this soon after it is done.

Another thing God told me to listen yesterday, was not to keep records of wrong, to just leap over the big ME and left that at home. I was walking at the other mural site, when I gathered there was not enough colors for the paints and somethings were not done right. I've learned that taking leadership means taking the blame, taking the junk, doing what everyone else does not want to do, and most of all, I learn that smiling helps to lower my head temperature and help me to be more loving and humble. What rocks about it, was that I read that scientifically smiling and laughing brought a prescription to our brain to elevate it to a better stage (from GrantJeffrey book).

That's what I asked God to help me with today. I am not going to believe the lies that I cannot change, that high emotion runs through my blood therefore I couldn't stop it, because with God, I could do all things. And when God is in me, He's in control. He's in control.

Love and the power of love is easy to say. But love and the power of love can only work when it is done.

From Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller.