Are you opening like a flower?

I am a feminist because I am a christian. A paradox, you say? I think not.

A week ago, through several writing groups I am in, I received an invitation to submit an article about feminism and how "we're not finish" with the work women all over the world are doing to achieve equality. It seems appealing to me, and I do have several issues I want to speak about, but the more I think about it, the more I found that, well, my standard and understanding of feminism is quite different than what the purpose of the article that brought the conclusion that I am not going to submit anything.

Although I would like to speak up and clear my thoughts about this matter since I am eager to learn about growing closer to God as a woman. How can God use me to do His work in community of faith and society? Whom in the bible I should look up to? I am still puzzled with what Paul said about women and their role in church, although this matter doesn't bring my interest so much because I am not interested in the organization of the church but the church as a community of faith and a body of Christ. These are only some questions I had that brought me into searching for a group of women study the bible with, but with the spark of grace I found one last month.

What I got from the Bible...
Because of the first three chapters of the Bible, and the word "suitable helper" and the other word "submission", many people doesn't think that Christianity and feminism can't merge. Where do I fit in?
Growing up in an "eastern" culture where every girl's purpose is to marry, it was very hard for me to fit in. I was not fit in. Sure, I want to marry someday, but, is that it? What if I don't want to marry? What if I like being single? It doesn't mean that I devalue the role of mother and wife. They are very important! But, first I want to find out what I can get in life, how I can enjoy life aside from being a wife and a mother.

In my country, women advancement started in 1941, when a girl called Kartini befriended with a Dutch girl she knew from her father's connection with the Dutch, correspondent and discussed about women's education and advancement in life. The result was a book called "Habis Gelap Terbitlah Terang," the collection of her letters, that brought women movement in Indonesia. She was the pioneer of the movement that later on, brought women to school and to work. No woman had difficulties in going to school, getting a job, becoming a leader or even a president (our first woman president came into office in 2004).

Although I lived among Moslem's culture where there are a vast difference in the role of men and women even in religious life, our society is secular enough to know the difference. Women hold leadership role everywhere.

I have not learned a great deal about women's role in society where I live now. But the fact that even having a female presidential candidate is a challenge for most people blew my mind. What's wrong with that if the person is capable (another question if she is not)?

I am a complete person...
A girl's purpose, even in my family, is to marry and to have children. There is no question asked about that! But, slowly I can talk to my parents about this, about the possibilities of not to marry, and about the advantage I could have by being single. Once I told her about the story of MLK's sole secretary who is in charge of all his activities, speeches, and all the background work needed to be done for his activism. This secretary was an amazing "helper" (I know, I will discuss this later) that made everything possible for him to do. Without her, he would not be able to do everything he's done. And that's all possible because she is single (she's still alive, just wrote a book about her role in MLK's life). This is amazing to me, the difference she made with her talent and capacity and how God has used her life to help MLK. No man, I bet, could do that! My mother still says no..she still prays that I will change my mind and will marry someday. It's not that I don't want to marry, I just can't get through the thought of someone being "not complete" without someone else. To me, that's just wrong. Each individual is complete, we are not to find our "soul mate" because we are complete when we found God. When I have a relationship with Jesus, I am complete. With or without a husband.