A friendship is a treasure beyond measure

December 26, 2004, I got many phone calls asking if my family was okay, after the tsunami in Aceh. The town located on the tip of Sumatera Island and my family live in Java. Today I heard more good news from Aceh, where the economy starts to perk up, with new businesses, stores, , restaurants and hotels standing up again. After the tsunami, decades of conflict between the locals and central government had achieve an agreement and the Aceh people had their own election to decide their own leader from their own people they desired. Although some infrastructure problems still exist, there is no doubt that houses are being built in a better condition with the billion dollars assistances from the non-government organizations from all over the world. Although grieve are still on the air, thoughts of God and His greatness are being brought up in people's minds. And if death was the great equalizer, the hundreds of thousands lives that were gone in that night were not just gone astray. They were loved and they are still loved and missed.

Which also brought my thoughts of what I have in my life.

Friends and family are people who sometimes we take for granted. My family probably is not the best in the world, but they're the best that God ever given to me. And my friends, my friends are more than just a family.

One listened to me every morning and made me feel loved when I miss my mom.
One adopted me as a family in his big family.
One always asked me questions as if my opinion matters.
One called me up when he had a bad day.
One "lend me" his mom to give me a hug at my christmas away from home.
One helped me to prepare "a line" to answer my parents' usual question.
One stayed with me and offered me ice cream when I had a bad day.
One came over and listened to me when I cried over a heart break.
One told me that I need to figure out what I want before I did a foolish thing.
One noticed my voice and gave me a hug when I needed.
One needed me to listen and gave me opportunity to encourage him.
One gave me a place to spend the night when I lost my keys.
One gave me an advice on being a bum.
One told me that I didn't help when I told him the truth.
One ate the dinner I cooked although it was too salty.
One laughed with me when my dishwasher flooded, instead of making fun of me.
One drove far away just to say goodbye.
One came to my charity event although he has no interest whatsoever.
One said sorry for inexcusably being unattentive with my life.
One took care of my lousy car.
One never judge me.
One pushed me to reduce my coffee intake to only four cups up to this month.
One always encourage me to do what I love.
One asked me for help and made me feel needed.
One took care of my plants just because they were important to me.
One sent me encouraging words just in time.
One spent time with me when she could be elsewhere with people she loves.
And countless ones, had made me laugh and keep me young.

Every encounter we had with other people had a reason. And I believe each one is in my life for a reason. And I also believe that God had sent my friends to tell me He loves me. To my friends, I love you, and have a verry merry christmas.

Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful

The government isn’t the people. Mary my friend said that when I told her about my frustrations over what’s going on in this country (I am in the coffee island). In this day and age, just because of the ridiculously rigid policy on food import, some people have to eat “beras aking”. Beras aking is dried left over rice that we used to feed ducks with. It’s not like we’re running out of food as in Africa; there’s more food to eat, but they just can’t afford it. Rice is the main thing people eat, although there are other kinds of food available, people have accustomed that rice is present in every meal. It’s not easy to ask people to eat everything else when they are not used to it. And in this case, these people eat rice with banana leaves. BANANA LEAVES! Something that is not even considered as food.

They are human beings like me, cannot afford to buy rice because of the rising price, change of the harvest season, and import protection policy to farming. First things first should apply when people are starving. And there’s no other policy is better than protecting human rights.

In my brain I started to blame the government. But then, blaming the government won’t change anything. In Cincinnati, I have learned greatly about compassion, philanthropy, charity, and other things that would not exist without the legacy of my boss, Jesus the Savior. That change could happen without the government involved.

There are many social services agency here, but they’re just not enough. Our contributions (including mine) to help others are just not sufficient. Indonesia only have about 15% middle class society among the poor. I am not saying there is a lack of compassion; I am just saying that we’re hungry for more.

I am glad there are more people taking advantage of the “democracy” by exercising their rights to conduct more demonstrations, although in the end they have to depend on the justice system which we all know what it stands for. It’s the people who count, not the government. Focusing on what we have instead of what we don’t have is a destructive state of mind.

I am trying to stay at the bright side of life by enjoying coffee, the weather, food, trees, being a hobo by staying with my parents, and the resilient communities who already survived from the last earthquake. Jogja was as vibrant if not more, than the last time I saw it.

Everyday I hear the news about this disaster and that disaster, as if God was playing with the water near the sea throwing rocks over the land where landslide, floods and other environmental damages are happening. And the earth is screaming when we take more than what it has. When will we learn to take care of the environment? But, do we have any other choice when we have to choose between people and nature? We should not have to choose, there’s a way to live without damaging the environment, some of us just couldn’t see that far.

So, I turn off the news and go out to the traditional market to smell the fish, fresh vegetables, fresh herbs, and to listen to the crowds living for today . If happily ever after started with today, I should be able to grasp the joy on everyone’s face when they see the sun still rise this morning.

The best christmas gift ever was wrapped in a manger

I am trying to call my parents but the connection is bad, which is usual because it's not the weekend, and somehow the cell phone could not reach the ten thousand miles distance. I was reading "Thenewevidencethatdemandsaverdict", a book by Josh McDowell that I owned but never had time to read. It will be my companion during the three days and two nights trip to Surabaya this week.

I am trying to call my parents to tell them "I thank you." Mom and dad used to be moslem although I doubt that they'd ever practiced it, but they were baptized after they got married. My mom is such a dreamer, she always has dreams about things, and before she married my dad, she had a dream of seeing my dad sitting in the living room of my grandmother's house with only the light of oil lantern that became stronger and stronger. They knew each other since my mom was little, my dad always had a crush on her, and finally got married when he was 32 years old and she was 22. Being raised as a christian where my parents essentially were also still "learning" about christianity was interesting in itself. I always love the sunday school activities, the competitions, the bible reading contest, the christmas parties where I got to perform in many things (from singing, dancing, music) as a hyperactive kid. I knew who Jesus was, but that's because my parents told me so. And because the bible told me so. And because that's how I was raised, to whom my mom taught me to pray to. I used to immitate her when I pray. In Javanese, we address Jesus as the "Gusti Pangeran ingkang wonten suwarga", it means "The Lord, the Prince who art in heaven". I always wondered why we or she called God as the Prince, as if God has a son, and Jesus was the Son of God, and would God had a son, and who was the Holy Spirit.

Not until when I was in high school, I started to learn and to question who Jesus is. I learned more from the books I read, not all of them written by christian scholars, but many other point of views that contradict the point of view that Jesus was just a mere human being but reject his claim as the Son of God.

I remember a friend of mine, a good friend of mine, who used to be a baptist and convert into moslem, asked me if I believe that Jesus was God and why I believe that He is God. I grew up around moslem and I know their biggest rejection is that Christianity worship "three God" (they don't believe the concept of Trinity) and God obviously doesn't have a Son; and God would not be a man or came down to earth to be a man, a poor man who had nothing. I started to sit down to answer her question because it's gonna be a long one! I believe Jesus is God because: The bible that has historical evidence of future propechies and past prophecies and was inspired by God, said so. The entire bible, a collection of writings from the Hebrew history that was written throughout history through prophets with thousands of years span and 40 writers who lived in a different time and place, was written to tell the story of Jesus. The love story of God to men and women whom He loved. The story of redemption that God had written since the beginning of time. The story about the coming Messiah who is the Son of God, fully man dan divine at the same time. And Jesus is the only person, who can fulfill the entire prophecies including all the details, from John the Baptist who prepared his coming, The virgin Mary, his birth, his life, his ministry, his suffering, his death, his ressurection, and our forgiveness. And Jesus said himself that He was God. And there were more than 500 early christians who saw Him after his ressurection, whom all died, to defend what they experienced, to witness that Jesus was the Son of God, who could loose everything with nothing to gain. And there were 12 disciples who followed Him and knew his teaching and his miracles.

And there's more to that. Throughout my life, I have been blessed by God. Small little things of answered and unanswered prayers strengthened my belief that Jesus is God. I searched for Him and now I found Him everywhere, even in the evidence of science that only conforming to me that God is love, and therefore "Jesus" makes sense. The bible even said to "Test Him" and asked us to "decide to yourself." He's not afraid because He knows the truth. His idea, his teaching of love, and about love, and what He did to love the whole world, is just so overwhelming to me. Everything He said was true and I believe that. I am in awe of Jesus. I am in awe of what He has done in my life. I am thankful that He has made himself known to us and that He loves us, all of us!

In chapter seven of the book. JoshMcDowell cited JamesKennedy and JerryNewcombe in their book WhatIfJesusHadNeverBeenBorn to show the highlights of Jesus' sole influence in human race: Hospitals which began in the Middle Ages; Universities that were started by christians; literacy and education of the masses; representative of government; separation of political powers; civil liberties; the abolition of slavery; modern science; the discovery of the new world; benevolence and charity; higher standard of justice; the elevation of the commonm man; the high regard for human life; the civilization of barbarian cultures; greater development or art and music; countless of changed lives; the eternal salvation of countless souls. When God, the YHWH, sent his Son, the world was never be the same.

CS Lewis said that there's no way to believe Jesus only as a "historical figure" or a "great teacher", because his life didn't resemble that. He was either God, a liar, or a lunatic. The more I am searching to find Him, the more I am in love with Jesus. Not in love - in love - but perhaps it is more like "in awe". With all the things I've seen and read and experience every day, I could only see his affirmation of who He is and who He is in my life.

Jesus fulfilled the prophecies of Isaiah, 700 years before him: For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6, KJV).

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoseever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. That is my friend, the best love story I've ever heard....

Thank you God, for the best christmas gift ever.

You gotta hear this one song, it'll change your life I promise you

Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships, written by DanielGoleman, published by Bantam Books, 2006.

I started out to read the book out of curiosity after listening to a BBC interview of the Next , Next Generation series with young people (translated to 18-35 year old) from all over the world, asking them of what they want to be, what are their challenges in the future. They came from India, Africa, New York, London, and China. By the end of the interview, the common idea as the most important trait to survive is: the social skills, from communication, relating to people, working with others. These important skill is crucial despite of whatever skills they have to offer, because other skills and demands change as the wind does, along with the advance technology, the happenings (that includes natural, and political disasters).

I grabbed this book, read it, and was not able to put it down, as I was "mute" for two days, even when I was asleep, dreaming about reading this book. DanielGoleman is a brain scientist, a psycholog and doctor, a self described " the author who redefined what it means to be smart." He is smart. The simple language, although I have to grab my pen to write down new "brain related" vocabularies that I haven't heard before. As a scientist, he was able to translate the language to the common mind, and the result, I found that the book was not that I expected. It offers more.

Empathy was the most important trait we can have to be able to communicate with others. Empathy exist in a brain that is not self-observed, which he described to have several forms, one of them is narcicist. Empathy was developed throughout our growth, depending on how our parents raised us, and the amount of encouragements we received, the amount of dissapointments we received during our childhood. My heart sanked when I read this. So, what if some children grew up in the "wrong" environment without love and encouragement? But, I kept reading and found that this is not a "period" in our brain development. These are a "curable" stage, that could be found through a nurturing, understanding partner, or a teraphy. Of course, realizing the "problem" would be the first step.

Without empathy, it is impossible to be a positive impact in the society, a positive impact to those surrounds us. These includes our roles, at work as an employee, or as a boss, or as a co-worker. Empathy is also crucial in our ability to create bonding, in relationship, ability to develop mental stability such as controling our minds to accept and reject situations that would change our emotional stage, such as breaking up with lovers, and our ability to be happy.

Happiness, Mr Goleman said, was a result of a resilient stage of mind, that is constantly working toward a better state of mind. The period of "grieving" is important to return our minds to the state of happiness, realizing the fact, that sometimes things are not working as "planned", that people die, and they come and go in our lives.

The "social brain" itself doesn't exist in the particular part of the brain, but was developed throughout the brain through the connection along the nerves. Mirror nerve, was the brain ability to relate to others. When we kiss, or we're in the state of "madly, deeply in love", the brain developed a substance that is similar to those that made us addicted, metaphetamine (what a surprise), and when we kiss, there's a fireworks in our brain that was developed through the connection of the nerves alltogether, when a couple fight, the brain developed a stage that lower the immune system for a couple of hours.

His explaination doesn't stop in the connection of one person to the other, but he also mention the importance of connectedness in the society that could lower the crime rate! He mentioned the example of this fact in a neighborhood in Boston, where togetherness in the community, such as community gathering, lower crime rates.

A healthy mind (and hence, soul), is important to develop empathy. And the development of the "social brain" and the brain in overall, is not only depending on what we inherited from our parents, but also what we received, able to overcome throughout the years, until the brain reach its maturity, in our twenty somethings (more like twenty four or five).

I am glad Mr Goleman wrote this book. But again, if we think about it, there's no "new" things here. Two thousand years ago, a jewish carpenter mentioned the importance as "loving others" but he didn't only stop there..."as yourself" which, could be translated as "empathy". Once again, science, the human brilliant "discovery" of how the social brain work, is yet another explaination of Jesus' teaching.

Home

The air sounds so foreign to me although I took my first breathe on this land. The land my current self could not stop to shake its head and ask, how come or why and what happened. The land where I would see everyone in my life who used to visit me on my dreams all these years. All those fights and laughter and tears.

Yet, I was too freak out to think of what they would think of me cause I am not what I was before. But when I saw their eyes, I found the same curiousity, and then I breath deeply and slowly.

Five years had changed me, and those five weeks could not replace all the excitement they would have if I were near. But I was near, as close as the telephone handle and emails and also snail mails. It was good to be with them, my family, but I didn't feel like I was at home.

A place where you were born is a place where you found who you are. And Rhineland is the place. Where there was a time I couldn't be more closer to You than any other time and place. Was I dreaming, or was I really go back home...

Rhineland 12406-437